A Balinese boy sells fruit and candy in the village of Kintamani in northern Bali. (QMI Agency/Gary Poignant and Linda Snydmiller)

So, you think taking a trip to Bali is the perfect way to get away from it all.

Think again.

Oh, it has the great weather and some super beaches, but it's also home to four million people.

Granted, these people - most of them devoted Hindus - are as easy-going and as humble as anyone on the planet.

But cramming so many people on an island that is only 120 km long by 40 km wide means that things can get a little, uh, crowded now and then.

Namely, the roads.

When my friend Linda and I began a 12-day stay at the resort town of Sanur on the island's southeast coast, I didn't realize that rush hour is on from dawn to dusk.

It must have been jet lag from the 21/2-day trip, but I also stupidly forgot that pedestrians the world over don't ever really have the right of way.

Within the first 24 hours, yours truly was dancing wildly in traffic to avoid a speeding motorcyclist on two separate occasions.

Like in Edmonton, it didn't seem to matter a whit that I was in a crosswalk. To compound matters for first-time visitors like myself, Balinese motorists are supposed to drive on the left.

Although I didn't witness any major accidents while I was there, a hotel official guide did tell me they average two road deaths a day on the island.

I'm not sure how many of those are tourists but I was feeling thankful that we had extra insurance when Linda and I and about 40 other Canadians boarded a tour bus for a trip to northern Bali.

Going on a tour with a bunch of people from Victoria, Kamloops and Saskatoon was kind of bizarre in itself. As I said earlier, we travelled halfway around the world to get away from it all.

Most of these folks were pleasant and great to chat with but a few of them - perhaps they've spent too much time at RV lots in Arizona - seem to be a little too "Americanized."

An example: At one of the rice paddy field viewing stops on our tour, a guy from B.C. named Tom told a Balinese girl trying to sell some small shell-like ornaments: "Learn to speak English, little girl, so you can make some real money and get off this island.''

She didn't understand and I could only shake my head.

The rest of me was shaking on the ride itself, which snaked along a narrow, paved road for four hours to the northern shore of Bali and Lovina Beach.

This ride was hairpin turn after hairpin after hairpin, all while going up and then down, and up and then down.

What was truly amazing about this journey is that we didn't witness a single crash. Throughout the trek, motorbikes, trucks and cars were passing the bus on blind corners.

A big mistake we made on this first tour was sitting at the back of the bus. Vertigo sets in and thoughts of bringing up lunch become very real.

In addition, the Balinese tour guide's voice became garbled over the antiquated sound system.

For two other tours - a shorter trip that included a spectacular view of Mount Kintamani, which last erupted in 1963, and a famous Hindu temple sunset tour at Tanah Lot on the southwest coast - we sat in the second row from the front.

Smart move - we could now see where we were going even though it included a few near-collisions.

The hands-down winner for top tour during our stay - not surprisingly - was what we found at the end of a 22-km boat ride to nearby Lembongan Island, off the southeast coast.

There was one large hotel, two small hotels, several bars and just a few hundred residents - most of them fishermen.

Unfortunately, this was only a day trip.

We'll have to go back. To try to get away from it all next time.

Can you get there from here?

It almost seems like you can't get to Bali from here.

We left Edmonton early on a Tuesday and - after a one-night layover at Tokyo's Narita airport - finally arrived in the Balinese capital of Denpasar late on a Thursday.

You don't change your watch, you change the calendar.

Total estimated flying time: 22 hours. That included a bizarre one-hour stop in the Indonesian capital of Jakarta to change the flight crew and force passengers to scurry past a brutal airport market.

I have travelled across the International dateline to Australia and Malaysia on more direct routes with greater ease. But the series of flights to reach this holiday destination truly made it feel like my friend Linda and I had just tried to raise money for a school wake-a-thon.

I only had two beers, but it truly felt like I was walking in a fog. We were ODing on recycled air, I guess.

The scary part is we're both fit and very active runners. I'd hate to try this journey with any kind of physical problem.

The airline we travelled with for the biggest leg of the journey - Japan Air Lines - does have some nice features that helped pass the time. Besides a mini-television screen for each passenger showing a string of eight or nine movies, they also feature two jet-mounted cameras that were 'on' for most of the flight.

One camera pointed straight out from the jet's nose and the other lens looked straight down from the nose wheel - a real rush for takeoffs and landings.

Unfortunately, the percentage of time spent taking off and landing wasn't nearly enough.

Eric the extreme

His name was Eric and he was what might loosely be described as an extreme tourist.

This thirtysomething Montrealer, downing Balinese beer at a hotel pool, spoke as though he was using inheritance money to get way too much out of a holiday.

I first noticed him chatting to the Balinese waiters, rather loudly, about how he had been with hookers for the past several nights and how he was planning to go out again that night.

Other tourists cringed and looked deeper into their books and magazines as Eric tried to encourage a couple of young Balinese waiters to go out on the town with him.

He laughed. They laughed. I went for a swim.

A few days later Eric was telling poolsiders that he travels and parties most of the year, catching Formula One races around the world. He was heading off to Melbourne, Australia, the following weekend to catch the inaugural race of the season.

Days later, when Eric heard that we were going on a tour, he told us about the only tour he had taken - several months earlier in Thailand. Eric claimed he paid $500 US, plus $50 US for a driver, to go to a rural area near Bangkok and shoot a cow with a bazooka.

He said it was "the most fun'' he had so far on his long, seemingly endless holiday. In fact, it was such a rush that he planned to return back through Thailand to try it at least one more time.

I didn't get details from him as to where you'd sign up for such an excursion - and if it includes a guide or not.

Days later, I recalled Eric's bizarre tale when I noticed a brochure in a tour agency headquarters while waiting to board a bus in Sanur.

They were selling "Cremation Tours."

The agency charged $12 US and, thankfully, lunch was not included.

If you go:

WAY TO GO:

* 15-day packages are available from Edmonton starting at about $1,600 Cdn. That includes return airfare, all hotels, breakfasts and transfers.

* Canadian currency is easily exchanged. You'll get a better rate on cash than traveller's cheques.

* Get out of your hotel and patronize the local eateries. The most popular dish is chicken satay, rice and vegetables. Enjoy the Balinese beer - it's smooth-tasting and very cheap. Wine is sub-par and overpriced.

* Travel light. Temperatures range from mid-20s to high 30s C. The rainy season lasts from November until late February.